Today I wanted to give you a little Christmas gift, a little Christmas reminder for your Enneagram type. These handy reminders that I’m going to give you in your Enneagram type can be considered little “permission slips”, like hall passes that allow you to let go or lean in a little bit, depending on what your type is.
As you go into the Christmas season, you will probably be feeling some of the weight of what you know about your Enneagram type, or the ways that other people show up that (for lack of a better term) just bother you. This can bring up some discomfort and some nervousness, so I wanted to give you some permission to hopefully help with that. We talk a lot about deep growth, self-awareness, reflection/introspection, and moving towards intentionality, and I would consider all of this inner process to be like working out, like building up the “muscle” of our inner selves. What I would like to offer you this Christmas is a “rest day”, some downtime and time to give yourself–your heart, your soul, your emotions, your head– a rest from all of the “exercise.”
Type One: Play!
Type One, I want to encourage to lean into your playful side, your adventurous side, and allow yourself to play a little bit! Often Type Ones have the desire to let go and be a little more carefree, but we sometimes need that permission to do so, or we feel like our responsibilities will continue piling up, like a conveyor belt that never stops! And so, Type One, I would encourage you to give yourself the permission to be playful, knowing that you can pick up where you left off (or not, depending on where you’re at), but that the playfulness that can come about in Christmas and being ready to just enjoy is a gift! And this gift is something that will benefit everybody who witnesses it, including yourself. So Type One, I give you permission to play!
Type Two: Sit Down!
Type Two, you are at the top of my list for someone who may not be able to sit down! You may be making sure everybody has refills, that they are all well taken-care of and feel appreciated and understand how much they are loved. That is beautiful, but that can also be incredibly tiring and leave you drained halfway through the day! So Type Two, I want to give you a permission to sit down and rest. Don’t force a smile; allow some time to just be you, and to take it in. So “sit down” is the permission that I would give you as a Type Two.
Type Three: Assume That People Are On Your Side
Type Three, the permission that I want to give you is believe that your people are on your side. This can be difficult as you might be kind of scanning the room, trying to perceive where you’re “standing” is with the people that you care about; but it is Christmas! So I want to give you the permission and the encouragement to make the assumption that they are on your side; they are for you; and you are safe with the people that you have a reason to believe you are safe with. It can be hard to put that belief into practice, so I want to give you permission to do that, and to assume that your people are “on your side.”
Type Four: Pause
Type four, I wanted to give you permission this Christmas to wait before making any decisions until your feet are on an emotionally “solid” ground. By this I mean that you will probably run into situations, circumstances, or exchanges through the holidays that bring up things that create a wave of emotion, and that wave can go up and down. What I want to give you permission to do is to pause and allow yourself to feel whatever you feel, and maybe leave that situation without giving a response or making a decision, because you might find that your position changes slightly as you reflect on it. So that is my permission to you, Type Four, is to feel all of the feelings that come; don’t repress them or suppress them, but allow yourself time to pause between whatever comes up that causes an emotion and a response or a decision associated with that same situation. So that’s my permission to you, Type Four; my encouragement to you is to pause.
Type Five: Explore Conversations
Type Five, I wanted to give you permission this Christmas to voice opinions or thoughts about something that you don’t yet know where you stand on; and you can couch this however you want. I fully give you permission to say things like, “I’m still thinking about it and this could change, but I find this topic interesting. So here are my thoughts right now.”
I want to give you permission to jump into conversations that you’re curious about, that evoke the sense of wonder and imagination in you, and contribute to them out loud. You have so much to share! I’m sure that you will go and do your research afterwards, but I want to give you permission to be present with the conversations that are happening in the moment. So that is my encouragement and permission to you, Type Five, is to explore conversations.
Type Six: Embrace the Uncertainty
Type Six, where I wanted to give you a little encouragement and a little permission is in the area of planning. You are probably making contingency plans and trying to make sure that everything will work out in the way that you see being the least destructive, or the least negative. What I wanted to give you permission to do, if you are able, is to allow the fact and the reality (because it is the reality) that your plans will not happen the way that you want them to. Life is too complicated; there are too many variables, and it’s so unpredictable! The one predictable thing is that we can’t plan life. I want to give you permission to embrace the uncertainty.
If you can lean into it, maybe even throw up your hands a little bit and say, “What will be will be. I’ve done my best.” And then pick up some lemonade or some coffee and let the lack of predictability unfold in front of you! That’s my encouragement to you, Type Six, is to embrace that things are going to fall apart, and believe that they can still be beautiful.
Type Seven: Savor the Right Now
Type Seven, my encouragement and permission slip for you is to allow yourself to be fully with the people that you were so excited to be around and experience this time with. Soak up the joy and all of the special moments, and allow yourself to enjoy them to the fullest; like savoring a dark chocolate that you eat slowly, and just let yourself savor every bite. Remember, you were looking forward to this! This is probably the “bread and butter” of the end of your year, where so many of the exciting things are happening and everybody else has some of the same joy that you tend to have almost every day. This is the time where you really get to soak up all of that, so I want to encourage you to be there! Don’t be thinking about the next thing yet; this was what you were looking forward to! So savor this moment. That’s my permission to you Type Seven, is to savor the right now.
Type Eight: Speak Up About Your Passions (With the Right People)
Type Eight, where I want to give you permission is to bring up the things that you’re passionate about. Continue to talk about areas that you feel really deeply and strongly about, while also “marrying” that with the understanding that this won’t be everybody’s cup of tea. Recognize that pulling people into that conversation, kicking and screaming, is not going to be the way to share, but I can guarantee you there is somebody there who is willing to connect and engage with you about the things that you’re passionate about. So find that blend between what will help everybody feel the harmony and unity, but also what will allow you to be heard about the things that you care about, is going to be that sweet spot that could be really helpful for you. So Type Eight, my permission and encouragement to you is to speak up about the things that are passionate to you, with the people who are ready to engage with you.
Type Nine: Talk About Your Heart and Opinions
Type Nine, where I want to give you some permission and some encouragement is to allow yourself to say the things that matter. You won’t be itching to say those things necessarily, like a Type Eight might, but you might have things that you feel you need to say; that feel like they need to be said and expressed, even though you might be holding yourself back from it. So I want to give you permission, Type Nine, to talk about you, your heart, and your opinions; especially ones that you’ve processed and you know what they are.
They aren’t just top of the moment, knee-jerk reactions; they’re things that you’ve really pondered and you know to be true about you right now. I want to give you permission to express those things with the people that care about you. So Type Nine, open up to the degree that you feel safe about the things that are important to you and deep inside you.
That is my permission to you, no matter what your type is! I hope that you resonated with one of these; it might even be one that isn’t for your main type, and that’s totally okay! There are nine of them to choose from; whichever one speaks to you, take that. That’s all I have for now! I hope you have a beautiful holiday.
Enjoy this post? Have a question? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below or over on Instagram where I hang out the most. If you haven’t yet, grab a copy of The Enneagram for Beginner’s book (affiliate link, thank you for your support!) or you can shop through my favorite books and resources for using the Enneagram in the Amazon Storefront.
Want to purchase Enneagram stickers, hats and more? Click through to the Christian Enneagram Shop and check it out.